


Once Upon a Dream

by Boldly_Gone



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Meld, Starfleet Academy, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2615792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boldly_Gone/pseuds/Boldly_Gone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stranger begins showing up in the dreams of Starfleet cadet James Tiberius Kirk. But things are seldom all they seem.<br/>(inspired by the Disney song 'Once Upon a Dream')</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream.  
> I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar, a gleam.  
> And I know its true that visions are seldom all they seem.  
> But if I know you, I'll know what you'll do,  
> You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream."

Cadet James Kirk was running late. First class of the week and he'd risen out of bed 15 minutes ago without trousers on and now here he was, strolling across the park to the Academy building. His _Earth History_ class had began 10 minutes ago, according to his watch, but he was pretty confident no one would notice him if he slipped in the through the emergency door at the very back of the lecture hall. It had worked before so there shouldn't be a reason for it not to work this time, Jim was confident. The sun was already high in the sky, a line of sweat forming across Jim's brow as he picked up his pace towards the building. Curse this thick uniform. But what troubled him most was the fact that he hadn't eaten this morning. Bones may have left him some breakfast on the side before he'd gone out earlier that morning but Jim couldn't be sure, he'd left in quite a hurry. His stomach rumbled at the simple thought of skipping a meal, followed quickly by his mind wandering away from reality.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a heavy body colliding with his own. The quick-moving stranger had smashed right into Jim's shoulder, knocking him completely off his feet and onto his backside, the gravel grazing his palms as he attempted to lessen the impact of his fall. He cursed under his breath, feeling the pain burn in his coccyx. In normal situations, the stranger at fault would be apologising by now but this stranger was not. Instead, Jim heard him panting heavily as if he'd been in the middle of a marathon run. Jim squinted up at the man who'd knocked him down, making out the silhouette of, what looked like, pointed ears.

The stranger's breathing eased a little as Jim collected himself, pushing himself off the ground with a groan. He was half-way up when the stranger grasped his hand and harshly hauled him up to his feet. The stranger places his hands on Jim's shoulders and grasps at the fabric of his uniform.

“You have to listen to me,” he said, sounding a little out of breath.

Jim blinked hard through the sunlight to make out the features on the stranger's face. He has got pointed ears, Jim confirms to himself, and there was a slight green tinge to his skin, especially around his cheeks. Vulcan, Jim quickly deduced. He wore the typical Science Officer shirt expected of a Starfleet officer, along with black trousers and regulatory boots. He didn't look well, Jim added in his thoughts, not that he'd ever been around a Vulcan enough to know whether one is healthy or not. But the one stood sweating in front of him looked exhausted, run-down and looking like he was about to collapse at any given second.

“Jim,” the Vulcan said as his fingers tightened on his shoulder's, “you have to jump.”

Jim opened his mouth to reply but the Vulcan stared harder at him with worn brown eyes.

“Jump. Jim. Jump.”

Jim's eyes close for a second.

X.....................X

The sound of cadets shouting outside his bedroom window is what woke Jim up. He yawned, glancing to his bedside table where his clock sits, angled towards him. 4am. 5 hours before class actually begins. He smiled at the thought of being able to sleep more, rolling over onto his other side to face the wall. He closed his eyes again and attempted to drift off but the face of the Vulcan in his dream is on the back of his eyelids. He's had strange dreams before, of course, but nothing involving a Vulcan he's never met. Maybe he'd just seen him somewhere and remembered his face. He recalled reading about dreams somewhere but is unsure where. Sleep soon finds him again.

9am soon comes around and before he knew it, Jim is walking alongside Bones to the library that was just a little around the corner from their apartment. Jim was thankful for the short walk. He stretched his arms above his head as his mind began to drift back to his odd dream. Stranger things have happened, he thinks.

“You look rough, kid,” Bones said, looking Jim up and down in an exaggerated manner. “You weren't out last night again, were you?”

Jim shakes his head. “Just dream trouble again. It's nothing, Bones. Promise.”

He gives a half-hearted smile but he can tell his friend isn't convinced. McCoy didn't believe him for a second but figured Jim's Tarsus nightmares were on the way back. He mentally noted to keep a closer eye on the kid's sleeping patterns just in case an emergency hypo was needed in the middle of the night.

“I can see what you're thinking, Bones, and its not those dreams,” Jim said.

McCoy frowned. “Other strange dreams?”

“Yeah, I was walking down this street and-”

Jim abruptly halted mid-sentence when his gaze locked onto a person across the street. A Vulcan across the street. McCoy waved his hand in front of Jim's eyes. He didn't blink.

“Who's that?” Jim pointed as discreetly as he could to the tall Vulcan dressed in black uniform, who was walking into the library with his PADD grasped gracefully in his hand. Jim squinted against the morning sun, trying to make out the features on his face.

McCoy placed his hand across his brow, attempting to shield his gaze from the sun. “Who? That Vulcan over there?”

“Yeah.”

Bones paused for a moment, “Commander Spock, I think. Can't be too sure of whether that's his name or not.” He looked back at Jim, who was staring at the oblivious Vulcan with no sign of blinking.

“He's the one who was in my dream last night.”

McCoy recoiled slightly. “You sure?”

Jim nodded, “I recognise his face. He ran into me and helped me up and-”

“I doubt it, kid,” Bones interrupted with a wave of his hand, “I've heard he ain't the nicest bull to wrestle with. I doubt he'd help you up if he actually did knock you on your ass.”

The Vulcan disappeared through the doors of the building, leaving Jim stood staring at thin air.


	2. Chapter 2

After annoying Bones for the past half an hour, Jim decided to take a walk around the library before his friend resorted to murder as a way of shutting him up. He wandered around the shelves of the old Earth books, reading all of their titles. There was something about the old books that he really loved. Whether it was the look of sophistication of them or the simple feel of the page beneath his fingertips, he didn't care. He picked up the oldest looking book he could find, feeling the texture of the leather in his palm. Flicking open the cover, he noted somewhere that it was perhaps the smell of them that he liked the most. But his content feelings did not last long. As Jim began to flick through the pages, words became less and less readable. By the time he reached the middle of the book, the letters were scrawled across the paper in bundles of swirls and lines, making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

In a slight panic, he dropped the book and hastily picked up another, finding the exact same illegible calligraphy inside. By the time he got to the tenth book in a completely different section of the library, Jim was almost engulfed in panic. He needed to get back to Bones. He began to run down the corridors to the Biology section where he'd left his friend. Suddenly, the corridor become full of people, all talking loudly and hurrying past him. Jim stood in the centre of the crowd, unable to pass through the mass of students bustling around him.

A strange wave of dizziness suddenly came over him and Jim found himself swaying on his feet a little. No one stopped to see if he was okay. No one even seemed to look at him. He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead and blinked hard numerous times in quick succession, hoping the dizzy spell was just dehydration or something spontaneous.

The sounds of the students around him seemed to die down all of a sudden, leaving just a low thrum of background noise in his ears. Jim turned slowly, convinced he heard someone call his name from across the crowd. He faces the direction he came in and sees the Vulcan from his dream running towards him. Attempting to run to him, anyway. The cadets seemed less than compliant to move out of the way for someone who seemed to be in such a hurry. The Vulcan called Jim's name again, the sound of his voice echoing throughout Jim's mind like a familiar and warm presence.

Their gazes locked for a second before Jim felt his eyes close in an extraordinary long blink.

 

X..................X

 

Jim woke up in the middle of a snore. He lifted his head from the desk quickly, scanning the surrounding environment to check whether anyone saw him actively napping in the library. _Good_ , he thinks, everyone seemed completely enthralled by what they're reading. He rubs his eyes and sits back in his chair. The damned Vulcan again. It was the same one, Jim decided, he could tell by the eyes. There was something about the Vulcan's eyes that seemed so... _human._ And familiar. But Jim couldn't put his finger on it, no matter how hard he tried to cast his mind back. 

Maybe Bones could get him some drugs to help him sleep properly. After all, he'd managed to keep his Tarsus nightmares at bay so one persistent Vulcan shouldn't be too much bother.

Jim stood up from the desk and tucked the chair in, making his way back to Bones. As he came to the turbolift, a thought came to mind. At what point had he fallen asleep? Was Bones even  _in_ the library this morning? Nevertheless, he hurried across to the Biology section where he was sure Bones would be studying. He rounded the corners sharply, nearly knocking people over. He occasionally jumped to see over the old bookshelves, looking for the top of McCoy's head. A rush of relief came over him as he spotted his friend, stood in one of the aisles, PADD in his hand. Jim rushed down to him, seeing McCoy visably jump as he got near him.  


“Jesus, kid, you can't spring on people like that. As if my nerves weren't already-"  


 

“ _Bones_. It happened again.” 

 

McCoy stated blankly at him, mouth slightly agape and obviously at a loss at to what Jim was talking about. Jim sighed.

 

“The dream! The _Vulcan_. Rememeber?”

 

“Oh, right. Your collision with the polite and helpful Commander Spock. Did he take you out to dinner this time?”

 

Jim ignored his friend's mocking and proceeded to tell him about seeing Spock down a completely crowded corridor and being unable to get anywhere near him this time. The taunting tone of Bones' voice soon disappeared when Jim mentioned how panicked he'd become in the crowd.

 

“I can get you something, Jim. To help you sleep. Stop you dreaming like this. If its bothering you. It _looks_ like its bothering you.”

 

Jim didn't reply. His lips turned up into a small smile and Bones acknowledged with the same expression. They made their way out of the library and began to walk around the corner, back to their dorm. Jim's mind ticked with possibilities of what this Vulcan could possibly mean to him and why he kept dreaming about him.

 

Surely something happening twice was just a simple coincidence.

 

Three, Jim mentally decided, was a pattern.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim promised Bones he'd tell him right away if his dreams became too much for him to deal with but as the week went on, Jim's dreams remained totally Vulcan-free. He was at a total loss of what the cause of his odd dreams were or whether the was anything to label 'odd'. Bones told him it was normal to feel like you're having a panic attack in your sleep if you're having a nightmare but Jim wouldn't class any of this as a nightmare. The Vulcan didn't scare him. Quite the opposite, he thought to himself as he sat alone in a bar just outside of the Academy campus. The Vulcan showed no signs of every attempting to attack him or even act remotely aggressive towards him. He looked as though he was trying his best to tell Jim something but what that something was, Jim had no clue. He swirled the alcohol around in the tumbler and watched it settle down around the ice.

 

Bones needed to study.

 

Jim needed a drink.

 

He downed his fourth whiskey of the night and gestured for the bartender to bring him another before he came to his senses and realised that this was a terrible idea. He leant forward, folding his arms on the bar in front of him. The place was relatively empty for a Wednesday night. But Jim was thankful; his headache would no doubt only be worsened by the sounds of screaming, dancing cadets.

 

A sudden commotion from behind him grabbed his attention. Jim turned his head ever so slightly, listening to the ruckus. It sounded like a drunk had just walked in and demanded more beer, that obviously not going down well with the waiter on shift. But it was the sound of tables and glasses clattering over that made Jim finally turn around.

 

It's the Vulcan.

 

Jim leapt off his barstool and stood with a straight spine as the Vulcan staggers over to him. He wore the same attire as he has the previous times, though his blue Science Officer shirt looks torn in some places; new rips in the fabric. The Vulcan stood opposite Jim for a split second before practically collapsing onto him, his hands on Jim's shoulders.

 

“Commander?” Jim said, supposing he should try to be formal if this Vulcan _was_ ranks above him.

 

“Jim,” Spock said with a shaky tone. His eyes begin to slip close and Jim knew that something was horrifyingly wrong. “You have to _-ah!”_ His sentence is cut off by a sharp exclamation of pain as he shoved his palm to his forehead. His eyes scrunched together but he soon collapsed completely, his legs giving out from underneath him.

 

Jim was quick, catching the exhausted Vulcan in his arms, lowering him to the floor as gently as possible. He yelled for someone to call for help, never taking his eyes from the unconscious Vulcan in his arms. There were cuts on Spock's face, Jim noticed from this close proximity, with spots of green blood littered across his cheeks. There were dark circles under his eyes and Jim wondered what could have possibly pushed a Vulcan to this extreme of tiredness.

 

But he knew if Spock was here then he must be dreaming. He blinked.

 

X.............X

Jim woke up slowly this time, not as abrupt as the previous times he'd dreamt about Spock. He yawns, rolling over to find that he was in his own bed. Strange, he thinks, he didn't remember getting into bed. Maybe Bones carried him in from the couch. But Jim was pretty sure that if he was sleeping soundly, then Bones would have left him be. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked around, double-checking that he was  _definitely_ in his own room. And he was. His clothes on his desk, his clock on his bedside table reading 3:11am. Jim sat up and swung his legs around so he was sat on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes. Maybe medication was the way to go with this sleep disruption stuff now. 

 

A clattering of furniture suddenly grabbed Jim's attention. The sound came from the living space in the next room, as if someone had broken into their dorm. Jim's spine straightened as he crept over to his door, standing against the frame and listening for any more sounds. 

 

Silence.

 

Even with the sound of his heart beating wildly, Jim made the decision to go out there unarmed. He knew he could swing his fists if need be. He'd broken a few noses in his time so he was confident that he could do the same amount of damage this time. Providing there actually  _was_ someone in their dorm. 

 

Jim crept out of his room, slipping around the walls and attempting to peer through the darkness. He didn't see anyone nor did he hear anything untoward so he activated the lights and lowered his fists and sighed, deciding that he didn't look all that intimidating anyway, what with his grey pyjama shirt and grey pants hanging over his bare feet. The room looked fairly calm. But no items were out of place and he knew he definitely heard something being knocked over. Suddenly, he felt the presence of someone from behind him and he turned quickly but the intruder is much faster than he is. Jim tussles with the man for a few seconds before his feet are knocked out from underneath him, ending up flat on his back with the stranger straddling his stomach and pinning his arms above his head with one hand. The intruder's other hand is clamped firmly over Jim's mouth. Wiggling his hips, Jim tried to remove himself from the stranger's hold but it was no use. By now, his eyes have become more accustomed to the darkness so he can see the stranger's face enough to recognise him.

 

It's Spock.

 

The Vulcan releases his hold of Jim's hands, gesturing for him to stay quiet by placing one finger against his lips. Spock crawled backwards, pulling Jim up in the process. They sit kneeling opposite one another and Jim stayed completely silent, memorised by the Vulcan in front of his eyes. 

 

“I do not have much time, Jim. You must listen and trust what I tell you,” Spock whispered.

 

“Commander, look,” Jim said, “I don't know whats going on here-”

 

Spock held his hand up to Jim, his expression softening as much as a Vulcan could.

 

“You must jump, Jim. Else you will not be free.”

 

Jim frowned and shook his head in slight disbelief. “Jump? Jump _where_?” 

 

“When the time is right, you will know, I am sure. I cannot interfere, or they will know I am here.”

 

Jim began to panic slightly, his chest rising and falling quicker. “'They'?” He repeated, “who's  _they?!”_

 

Spock opened his mouth to answer but a cry of pain came out instead.

 

“Spock? Spock!” Jim said, putting his hand on the Vulcan's tense shoulder but it looked as though Spock barely recognised the touch. He gasped in short and sharp breaths, as though something was ripping his mind from the inside out.

 

The darkness became thick around them and Jim began shouting desperately for Bones to come and help them. But no one came. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick note, I wasn't sure how to distinguish between dream!Spock and real!Spock so 'Commander Spock' is the one who's a graduate at the Academy the same time as Jim is a cadet. Sorry for confusion! Thank you for reading, dears!

The sound of Jim shouting for him had woken Bones up straight away. The walls were relatively thin in their dorm but the cries of your best friend is enough to wake anyone. McCoy kicked the bed covers off his legs in a swift move and opened his bedroom door, immediately finding Jim on the floor of their living area. He was lying on his side, breathing heavily and eyes scrunched closed. Bones switched the lights onto their dimmest setting and dropped to his knees beside his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Jim, you need to wake up,” and he shook him gently, hoping it would be enough to rouse him.

 

Jim's eyes shot open and he pushed himself off of the ground so he was kneeling opposite Bones. He looked completely disorientated. He gasped, looking around the room as though he'd lost someone.

 

“Where's Spock?”

  
“Spock?” Bones asked, “You dreamt of Spock again?”

 

Jim nodded as he attempted to catch his breath. “He was here. Right in front of me. He was in pain and-”

 

“And you shouted for me to come help you. Jesus, Jim, you gave me a heart attack.”

 

Jim smiled apologetically at Bones. McCoy offered his hand to Jim, who took it and was pulled up to his feet. Bones guided him over gently to the couch and Jim sat anxiously with his legs crossed, resting his elbows on his thighs. Rubbing his face with his hands, he sighed. Jim knew that Spock had been there. He couldn't have been dreaming this time...it felt too real. But he'd been asleep when Bones had woken him up. Something was happening to him and he didn't have a clue what.

 

“So,” Bones said from the kitchen, “d'ya wanna tell me about _this_ one?”

 

“He told me to jump again. Said that I'd know what he meant when the time came.”

 

“What in the hell does is that supposed to mean?” Bones walked over to Jim, handing him a glass of water. He sat down next to him on the couch, their hips touching.

 

“What makes you think I'd know? I don't know when I'm dreaming and when I'm awake anymore.”

 

McCoy put his hand on Jim's knee. “I'll get some medication from the hospital tomorrow, alright? We'll sort your sleep out, don't worry, kid.”

 

Jim smiled and nodded slightly, sipping at his water. Bones felt so sorry for the kid. How much can one man go through before he breaks completely? Bones was damned sure he'd be there to pick up the pieces if that ever happened. 

 

X...................X

 

Jim sat on the couch in the dorm all day with nothing but his thoughts as company. Bones was volunteering in the hospital all day so he'd have to wait for the medication until his shift was done. Jim yawned. He needed to stay awake. As long as he was awake, he would be fine. That was his line of thought anyway but he stuck to it regardless, moving around every hour or so to keep his body awake. Its not that he wanted to get rid of Spock. He quite  _enjoyed_ the Vulcan's presence in his mind but the panic and sheer disorientation he experienced whenever he woke up was starting to take its toll. He sat on top of the kitchen counter and sipped at his mug of coffee, swalloing hard. Maybe he should talk to _Commander_ Spock about it. He didn't look approachable at all but maybe  _that_ Vulcan had been having dreams about a version of him? Jim quickly shook the thought away. Both Vulcans looked identical but there was no way that the Spock in his dreams was the same as the one at the Academy. Dream Spock was much more caring and Jim doubted whether Commander Spock even knew what the word 'caring' meant.

 

Night fell quickly and 9pm rolled around quickly. Jim heard a click at the door and hopped down from the counter. Bones had let himself in and he set his medical bag on the side in front of Jim. 

 

“You sure this'll work, Bones? He's pretty persistent.”

 

Bones rolled his eyes as he opened his bag. “You talk as though he's a real person, Jim.”

 

Jim forced a laugh but there was a nagging part of him that was desperately telling him that his Spock  _was_ real. But he needed to ignore that part of him if he ever wanted to sleep again. 

 

“Its one shot for the next two weeks before you go to bed, okay?”

 

“Great,” Jim replied, realising he sounded more sarcastic than he would have liked. He just had to keep telling himself that it was for his own health. That reasoning didn't satisfy the part of him who wanted Spock back. 

 

X......................X

 

The next week ran as smoothly as McCoy had hoped; no nightmares. The medication had worked a treat; Jim had gone five straight days without so much as waking up in the middle of the night, never mind having any sort of distressing dream. Bones was secretly pleased that Jim could sleep soundly again without looking like utter hell the next day from a lack of. 

 

Jim, on the other hand, wasn't as pleased. Something didn't  _feel_ right and he couldn't put his finger on it. There was a tightness in his head that he couldn't explain though he said nothing to Bones about the ailment; he'd worried him enough for one year. He continued going to class and drinking alone like he knew he was meant to but everything he did felt, somehow, odd. He walked around the Academy feeling completely out of place, like he didn't belong. He'd only began feeling like this since his dreams had been kept off-limits. 

 

Logically, Jim thought, it would be accurate to assume that it was a simple side-effect of the medication. Hell, he was allergic to all sorts of drugs so he knew it was probably just another one to add to the list. 

 

But he knew it wasn't just a bad side-effect. It was  _more_ than that. But being convinced of something because of a  _feeling_ in an Academy that prides itself on scientific evidence wouldn't go down well amongst its scholars and doctors, Jim was sure of that. 

 

He was alone in the dorm on one Monday night, lying on the couch and waiting for Bones to come home with more of the medication but something must've been holding McCoy up. Jim wasn't too sure what would happen if he skipped a day. He didn't want to find out either. But as his eyes fluttered shut, he felt his mind fill with colour. 

 

“ _As you have yet to select a First Officer, respectfully I would like to submit my candidacy.”_

“ _It would be my honour, Commander.”_

 

“ _Spock, nobody knows the rules better than you but there has got to be an exception!”_

“ _None. Such action violates the Prime Directive.”_

 

“ _The truth is...I'm gonna miss you.”_

 

“ _I will go with you, Captain.”_

“ _No, I need you on the bridge.”_

 

“ _How's our ship?”_

“ _Out of danger. You saved the crew.”_

 

“ _I'm scared, Spock. Help me not be. How do you choose not to feel?”_

“ _I do not know. Right now I am failing.”_

“ _I want you to know why I couldn't let you die.”_

“ _Because you are my friend.”_

 

Jim jolted awake suddenly, gasping for breath as he sits up on the couch. He clutched at his chest and exhaled slowly, trying to practise what Bones taught him. What the _hell_ was that, he thinks as he stands and begins to pace the room. That was him and Spock as Captain and First Officer aboard a Starship. The images were too vivid to be a dream, he decided, the emotion was too real. He'd felt the pain of dying from radiation poisoning and the pain of seeing his Spock _cry._

 

Jim had begun to believe that Spock was just a creation of his imagination, a character he'd known once upon a dream and nothing more but his mind was changed. The words uttered by Spock the first time he'd knocked him over echoed throughout his mind though now they had meaning.

 

“ _Jump.”_


	5. Chapter 5

It was well after 10pm when Bones finally finished his shift and damn, was he exhausted. He'd been working since 9am this morning and, though he knew the experience was good, he was so tired. He was sure Jim had told him to pick something up on the way home but his memory was failing him. Food? Books? He shook his head, he knew he'd remember sooner or later. He stood at his open locker, picking up his jacket and bag. He heard the sound of voices enter the room and he peered around the corner to see two young interns engrossed in their own conversation. Gossiping, McCoy assumed, but seeing as he and the two students were the only ones in the locker room, their voices were louder than Bones would have liked them to be.

 

“And no one is watching him?” The girl said, a hint of concern in her tone.

 

A male voice answered her. “No. He's been sat there for about an hour, I've heard. Poor guy. I bet he's just sleep deprived.”

 

McCoy felt his stomach drop. _Jim's medicine._ He slammed his locker closed and almost jumped in front of the pair, startling them.

 

“Sorry to be interrupting you here but what was that you were sayin'? A guy on a roof?” He said, stuttering slightly, feeling like he couldn't get the words out fast enough.

 

The girl didn't look too impressed with him eavesdropping on their conversation but she answered McCoy anyway. “There's a cadet sat on top of the dorm building around the corner from here. People have said he doesn't look suicidal but others aren't so sure. I say he's probably just exhausted and is getting some good fresh air. We're all tired. You know I had four essays due-

“-Yeah, look, sorry kid but I've gotta go.” McCoy didn't quite care if the pair thought him rude. He damn well knew the cadet on the rooftop was Jim. And he damn well knew that Jim would be the one to put grey hairs on his head one day.

 

X................X

 

If he was going to be honest, Jim wasn't even sure when he walked up the roof or why he was sat on the edge, dangling his legs over the side and staring down onto the pavement below. He knew he looked crazy but at this point, he'd decided to forgo the labels. After all, he was attached to a Vulcan who quite possibly didn't even exist so sitting on the roof looked sane compared to all that. He pulled his grey shirt down a little, feeling a slight draft on his lower back. He kicked his heels against the brick and leant back, his palms against the gravel.

 

Spock had explicitly told him to trust him. And Jim planned on doing just that.

 

So he pushed himself up carefully and wiped the stones off his palms using the material of his grey sweatpants. This was it. Now or never. He inhaled slowly and closed his eyes, feeling the cool breeze brush across his cheeks. He had to do this. He didn't belong here. He-

 

“ _JIM!”_

 

Jim's eyes flew open and turned carefully, seeing Bones emerge from the emergency exit door on the other side of the roof. He shook his head slightly and held his hand out, motioning for his friend not to come any closer.

 

“Bones, don't.”

 

“Kid-” he stopped, correcting himself, “ _Jim_ , whatever the problem is, we can fix it. Just come down-”

 

“ _No,_ Bones, don't you see? This isn't me! This place, this world,” he gestured to the sky with his arms, “is a _dream_! I'm not meant to be here!”

 

McCoy took a couple of quick steps forward.

 

“Don't, Bones! I mean it!” Jim pointed over the edge of the building. Bones froze on the spot, holding his hands up to Jim in a surrendering manner.

 

“I'm sorry. I just...Spock. I know I need to help him and I _need_ to do this. I'm sorry,” he began to cry, a single tear dripping down his face and onto the floor. He turned slowly, stopping when he was facing away from Bones. Jim stood as still as possible, staring out as far out as his vision would go without blurring. And then he looked down onto the cement below, imagining the feeling of falling. Bones tried to keep his tone as calm as possible but watching Jim's body sway on the edge of the building

 

“And what will you do if he's wrong, Jim?! If you die in a dream, you wake up, right? _That's_ what you're thinking? What happens if you die in reality?” Jim didn't turn around. He didn't need to see the tears on his friends face to know he was crying. Bones' voice became quieter but Jim still managed to hear him. “You'll be gone and I'll be on my own again. There's no winning scenario if you go, kid. Not this time. Just come down. _Please_.”

 

Jim looked up to the stars, knowing he was already truly among them. He gave a slight laugh. “You know me, Bones,” and he turned his head slightly to look Bones in the eye, “I don't believe in no-win scenarios.”

 

And he jumped.

 

Time seemed to slow down as he was falling; the feeling of the air hitting his face and the shouts from the people below and the sound of Bones screaming his name. He closed his eyes and thought of Spock.

 

The oddest thing about jumping off a building, Jim thought, was not hitting the ground below.

 

_After getting the mission brief from Starfleet, Spock had warned him that the telepathic natives of the planet had a history of not approving of Federation intervention strategies but Jim had shrugged off his First Officer's advice like he always had done. He was sure they'd be fine. No accidents had happened on an away mission for a while now so Jim, ever the optimist, was positive that this one would be fine too._

_"Your argument is not logical, Captain," Spock said as he stood opposite Jim in his quarters. "Past events are unrelated to this and to suggest that they will influence future events is invalid."_

_Jim smiled. "What can I say, Spock? I'm illogical. You should know that by now."_

_Spock wasn't convinced. So they'd compromised; he and Spock would beam down together to assess the situation and report back once communications had been established with the local government._

_They beamed down and, like every other routine mission, were greeted by three representatives of the politicians and were to be escorted to the government's chamber to be welcomed warmly. But the sudden phaser pressed in between his shoulder blades told Jim that these weren't the representatives. He'd tried to go with the offensive tactic of escaping. He glanced over at Spock, who (somehow, Jim thought) anticipated his own train of thought and followed suit, attempting to attack their captors and contact the Enterprise. Both were unsuccessful. He remembers hearing Spock cry out in pain, turning in time to see the Vulcan hit the ground lifelessly and panicking, but his own vision was clouding before he had the chance to do anything but collapse._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I just wanted to note that there's an established relationship between Kirk and Spock. I didn't want to put it in the tags as I think it would've spoiled the twist a little. Thank you for reading!

There was no pain, no rush of blood. Just blinding white light that Jim was sure wasn't healthy for his eyes to be exposed to. His breath came in sharp gasps as he attempted to subdue his panic of the unknown. Just where in the hell was he? He groaned loudly and suddenly realised that he couldn't move the majority of his body. His eyes adjusted to the light after blinking numerous times in quick succession and he stared up at the ceiling. After attempting to contort his body some more, Jim realised he was strapped down to a table. _A cold table_ , he added, as a shiver was sent down his spine. He twisted his neck, feeling the muscles pull as though he'd been idle for a while. As he moved his head, Jim became aware of various things stuck to his forehead and temples, a dull ache burrowing it's way through his head. He managed to lift his neck up slightly and see where the hell he was being held.

 

The room was white; white tiles on the walls and floor and white lights on the ceiling. He turned his head and saw a door, a strong looking one at that but there was some sort of keypad next to the door. He turned his head the other way and saw monitors; half a dozen screens with various readings on were clumped together on one large rack, flickering randomly with writing on that Jim didn't understand. He was also _alone_ in the room. And he didn't know how long he was going to alone for so he began to struggle against the straps around his wrists.

 

As he attempted to breaks from his binds, he became aware of a strange sensation in his mind; a weak but present feeling at the back of his mind, like a tiny trickle of water trying to break through the dam. He needed to get out of here. That meant getting off this table first. He struggled, wriggling his wrists from the straps. After scratching some of the skin off from his wrists, he pulls his right hand free from the bond, immediately reaching over and unfastening the one around his left. He freed his torso next and yanked the wires from his forehead, watching as the monitors began to flatline and shut down one by one.

 

As soon as all the wires are removed, a rush of emotion suddenly emitted itself though his mind and he suddenly remembered everything. _He's the Captain of the USS Enterprise. He was captured by rogues. He'd been stuck in a dream world for god knows how long. And Spock-_

 

_Spock,_ Jim thought. Spock must be somewhere in this facility too. As he finished pulling the straps from his legs, a thought crossed his mind. Spock had stopped showing up in his dreams. Did that mean that something had happened to the  _real_ Spock to prevent him from getting access to Jim's mind? In the dream, Jim had  _believed_ it was the medication that Bones was giving him to help him sleep that was preventing the Vulcan from showing himself...but what if wasn't? What if their captors had become aware of what Spock was doing and put a stop to his interferences? 

 

Jim tried his best to not to think of the most terrible thing that could have happened to Spock. First, he had to get out of this room.  _One bridge at a time,_ he told himself. He swung his legs around, dangling them off the edge of the table but a sudden rush of emotion overtook him, remembering the feelings of his dream when he was sat a top the building. He shook it off quickly, prioritising Spock over all else that was running through his mind. He lowered his feet to the floor, being glad he was still dressed in his regulatory boots on as the floor looked cold too. In fact, he still had his Command Gold shirt and trousers on. 

 

His knees shook a little as he stood up to his full height, feeling the strain of his unused muscles. He was extremely weak and malnourished but managed to walk over to the door without collapsing completely. The assessed the technology on the keypad by the door and realised that he needed a code or a card to open it. Jim cursed and turned away from the door, trying to think of a way to open it. There was no way he could force it down, he was far too weak to use any of his muscles. An epiphany suddenly strikes him and he scoots back over to the monitors, and began pressed buttons and moving wires to make their readings go haywire. He  _hoped_ his captors would be monitoring his readings. If having no readings at all didn't attract their attention, then having too many readings surely would. 

 

After he was content with the havoc he'd caused, he moved back across the room and positioned himself behind the door, hoping that only one person would come in. With his lack of strength, Jim wasn't even sure whether he could incapacitate  _one_ person. In a matter of seconds, Jim heard a beeping and the door was opened and in stepped one of his captors. He didn't recognise him as one of the 'representatives' he and Spock had met upon first beaming down to the planet but he looked to be the same species; humanoid but with a slightly elongated cranium and a sharp point at the tops of their ears. The door shut behind the alien as he stepped further into the room, approaching the monitors. Jim jumped, wrapping his arm around the man's neck, his chin resting in the crook of Jim's arm. He lost consciousness quickly and Jim let his body slump to the floor. He took the keycard from his pocket and made his way over to the pad. Swiping the card across the device, the door clicked open.

 

He inhaled slowly before he opened the door, peering around the frame before he hauled ass. The corridor was quite small but well-lit, following the stark white décor that had been in his cell. From what he could see, there were three other rooms down the passageway and, what looked like, a turbolift at the end. The corridor was empty. Jim had no clue how he was going to find Spock but he jogged down the passageway anyway, feeling his legs shake from the sudden movement. The last cell he came to had a large red 'X' painted across it and Jim's instincts told him that Spock was in this one. 

 

Fearing the absolute worst, Jim held the card to the reader on the wall and the door unlocked itself. He pushed it open and slipped inside, his gaze immediately locking onto the still body in the corner.  _Spock._ He was facing the wall so Jim was unable to see his face but he still had his Science Officer uniform on and it was even more torn than when Jim had last seen him in his dreams. As Jim ran towards him, he heard the door click shut behind him. Dropping to his knees beside him, Jim immediately pressed two fingers to the underneath of his chin, hoping to find a pulse. He exhaled when a small beat hit his fingertips. He rolled Spock over onto his back and saw the slow rise and fall of his chest. The Vulcan was pale but his face was littered with splashes of green blood and Jim noted more blood on his torso where the rips in his shirt were. 

 

“Spock,” Jim said, placing his hand on the Vulcan's shoulder. “Spock, wake up!” He shook him which caused a moan to escape from Spock's slightly parted lips. 

 

He kept his hand on his shoulder, Jim's gaze fixed on Spock's face. The Vulcan's eyes opened slightly as he groaned, obviously in some sort of pain. 

 

“Jim?” He whispered, opening his eyes a little more. 

 

Jim smiled. “Yeah, Spock. It's me.”

 

Spock lifted his arm and Jim removed his from the Vulcan's shoulder and took his hand, their fingers intertwining. Jim subconsciously took note of how weak Spock's grip was.

 

“I...am glad you...are here,” Spock replied, his words coming in between his laboured breaths.

 

“All thanks to you. You got through the coma they were keeping me in and brought me back. I owe you my life, Spock.”

 

“As you would say...we are even now.”

 

Jim scoffed, “we'll be even when I get you the hell out of this place and back to the _Enterprise_ where we both belong. Together, okay?”

 

Spock nodded as much as he possibly could, knowing it was illogical to argue against Jim's optimism. His eyes began to close.

 

“Jim...my t'hy-”

 

And Spock's eyes closed completely, his hand going completely limp in Jim's.

 

“Spock? Stay with me, Spock!”

 

The tears had already began to brim in Jim's eyes but now they were beginning to fall down his cheeks. He knelt above Spock, their hands still together.

 

“ _No._ No.”

 

The silence was abruptly disturbed by the sound of voices from outside the door but the sound of his heart beating in his ears took over. He gently lowered Spock's hand onto his stomach and reached up to his cheek, wiping a tear off of Spock's cheek. Jim stood up sharply and turned to face the door, his chest rising and falling quickly as anger overtook him. The bastards who had taken Spock from him were unlocking the door and Jim would make sure that every single one of them would know what they've done. 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jim stared at the door as the person behind it pushed it open slowly. He glanced down at Spock's still body behind him, his gut clenching at the sight. Spock looked peaceful, his features were no longer contorted together in pain like before when he'd been in Jim's dreams. But Spock had been _alive_ then and Jim was pretty damn sure he'd give anything to swap places with him.

 

His attention was grabbed when he heard a familiar voice grunt " _oh for god's sake_ ," and the door was pushed open with quite a force, revealing Bones looking extremely worried and Sulu close behind him.

 

"Bones!" Jim cried as the doctor ran towards him. Jim tried to run forward too but with his body being so weak, his knees gave way and McCoy had to be extra quick to catch him. He lowered Jim to the floor so he was sat with his legs stretched out. Jim groaned, feeling the muscles stretch.

 

"Good to see you, Jim," he said, and began checking him for any worrying signs of damage. Jim grabbed Bones by his wrists, stopping his movement.

 

"I'm fine, Bones. Just weak. You have to help Spock. He's....he might be..."

 

Jim didn't need to continue; his eyes said it all.

 

McCoy forced a smile. "Its gonna be okay, kid." Bones signalled for Sulu to come and sit with Jim and the helmsman did, whilst McCoy knelt next to Spock, running his tricorder up and down his body.

 

"We're all glad you and the commander are safe, Captain," Sulu said but Jim could only smile in return. Spock wasn't safe. The Vulcan had told him before they'd even beamed down to the planet that it wasn't safe but Jim hadn't listened and now, he'd lost Spock forever. Jim felt a tear drip down his face before his eyelids became too heavy for him to fight to keep open.

 

X..............X

 

The first thing Jim became aware of when he woke was that he was in a bed, rather than strapped to a cold table and for that simple change, he was incredibly thankful. He kept his eyes closed and felt the softness of the sheets beneath his fingertips and inwardly smiled. But then he remembered that he'd been stuck in a dream world for the past _however many_ days and began to panic, thinking that he was back there; that somehow the aliens had found the landing party and taken him away from Bones and Sulu; away from Spock. His chest tightened at the thought but a warm presence in his mind soothed him. It was a familiar presence though it was weaker than he remembered. He opened his eyes slowly and stared up at the white ceiling.

 

"Mornin', Sleeping Beauty," Bones said as he pushed himself out of the chair that he'd been sat in beside Jim's bed.

 

Jim blinked hard. "Where am I?"

 

McCoy walked around the other side of the bed to look at Jim's readings from the monitors. "Enterprise sickbay, Jim. You've been out of it for two days. How you feelin'?"

 

"Fine," Jim lied, "where's Spock? He's normally the one sitting by me when a mission goes a little wrong so-"

 

McCoy held his hand up. "A little wrong!? Jim, you were being held in a secret science lab in the outskirts of some alien city, kept completely sedated for 6 days straight before we even got near-"

 

"Bones! Where's Spock?"

 

McCoy visibly calmed. "Don't go all crazy on me, Jim-"

 

"Is he....?" Jim paused and shook his head, unable to say the word.

 

"He's alive, Jim. He's in a Vulcan healing trance, M'Benga said. That's what he must've slipped into when you found him. He said he should wake up soon- where in the hell do you think you're going?"

 

Jim had sat up in the bed and swung his legs over the edge. Jim raised his eyebrows, looking at McCoy like he'd asked the most obvious question in the galaxy. “Oh, I stopped listening after you said 'he's alive'. I'm going to see him.”

 

He stood shakily on the cold colour and groaned as his straightened his back. He could tell he was going to need help so he looked up at Bones, who was looking extremely unimpressed with Jim's determinism. "You gonna help me walk or should I crawl to him?”

 

McCoy complained under his breath, something about Jim being responsible for most of the grey hairs on his head. Nevertheless, he put his arm around Jim's back whilst the latter held onto Bones' shoulders. Jim's legs weren't working fast enough for his liking, he needed to go faster, he needed to see for himself that Spock was alive. They got to the little private room at the end of medbay very slowly and Jim felt extremely nervous as they stood outside whilst Nurse Chapel opened the door for them. She smiled at the Captain and he attempted to return the notion.

 

The room was quiet and Jim panicked slightly, being unable to hear the sound of Spock breathing but the steady sound of the machine beside him told him that Spock's heart was beating steadily. The Vulcan wore the same white hospital gown as Jim did, the bedsheet pulled up to the top of his stomach. His arms rested on the outside and as they got closer, Jim took note of various bruises on Spock's arms. Bones helped Jim over to the chair beside the bed and he sat down, his gaze never leaving Spock's face.

 

“You come get me if you stop being fine, okay?” McCoy gestured in the air with his fingers at the word 'fine', as he fully knew that Jim had lied before.

 

Jim smiled at him. “Thanks, Bones. I mean it.”

 

“I know you do, kid.” And McCoy left, gently shutting the door behind him.

 

The quietness of the room made Jim extremely uncomfortable. He scooted the chair closer to the bed so he was able to reach out and touch Spock's hand. It was warm beneath Jim's cold palm, another anxiety-releaving sign for Jim that Spock wasn't dead. He brought it up to his lips and kissed Spock's knuckles gently. Somehow, he couldn't shake the image of Spock's eyes closing and his hand falling limp when Jim had found him in his cell. It had completely looked like Spock had passed and the emotion that had consumed Jim at that moment had been overwhelming. Is that what Spock had felt when he'd been with Jim when he died in the radiation chamber? It was likely, Jim thought. His mind traced back over Spock's 'final' moments in the cell and he attempted to piece together the word he was sure Spock had called him. He was sure it was a Vulcan word so Jim decided it was probably best to ask Spock about it, rather than butcher the language in his mind. He lent back in the chair and, with his hand still holding onto Spock's, he drifted off to sleep.

 

X............X

 

Jim wasn't sure how long had passed, but the sound of McCoy walking through the door startled him awake.

 

“I thought you'd want some proper clothes. You don't suit white.” He handed Jim a pile of clothes; loose black trousers, black long-sleeved Starfleet shirt and his familiar boots.

 

“Thanks, Bones. I appreciate it.” He glanced back at Spock. “Any idea how long he'll be out?”

 

McCoy walked around the other side of the bed, looking at the machines whilst Jim got dressed. “M'Benga said it shouldn't be too long. He's been in a deep trance for the past two and a half days but his mind was in a pretty bad way so who knows how long it'll take for him to repair it.”

 

Jim sat back down on the chair once he was dressed, feeling comfortable in clean clothing. “He did it for me, Bones.”

 

“I don't know the ins-and-outs of what happened in there, Jim. I was going to wait to ask you about it. All I know is that they kept you sedated and Spock brought you out of your coma. Somehow.” Jim was expected a little mutter of ' _Vulcan voodoo'_ but Bones didn't say anything even remotely insulting.

 

“The natives were telepaths. They did something to me so I thought I was a cadet back at the Academy. I....I had no idea who I really am or what was really happening. It was...weird, Bones. You were there.” He saw McCoy raise his eyebrows. “But Spock kept appearing and telling me to jump but we thought he was just a figment in my dreams but then he stopped appearing and I....” Jim paused, as the feeling of falling of the edge of the building came over him again.

 

“It's okay, kid. You don't have to-”

 

“No, it's fine.” He lowered his voice slightly, knowing that Bones would  _probably_ be less than pleased to hear about his actions. “I jumped off a building."

 

McCoy's face hardened."You did _what?!"_

 

" You die in a dream you wake up, right?" 

 

“Don't you try and justify your actions! And what happens if you die in reality _?!”_

 

Jim smiled a little. _“_ That's what my dream Bones asked me too.”

 

He went to speak again but McCoy interrupted him. “No, hang on, let me get this straight; you jumped off a building because a Vulcan told you to? James Kirk, I swear-”

 

There was a quiet groan from Spock but they both heard it. Jim leant in closer, placing his hand over Spock's again.

 

He whispered, “Spock?”

The Vulcan's eyes opened slowly, inclining his head towards the source of the voice.

 

“Captain?” His voice was almost inaudible. His vision came back to him and the first thing he focussed on was Jim's cerulean eyes. “Jim, are...you safe?”

 

Jim smiled. “Yeah, Spock. I'm fine. I owe you my life.”

 

Content that knowing Jim was finally safe, Spock drifted off into a light sleep and Jim stayed, feeling like he owed it to Spock to watch over him.

 

X............X

 

Jim was sat at his desk when there was a knock on the door of his quarters. Bones had ordered him away from Spock's bedside to get some _real_ sleep and Jim had reluctantly agreed. Spock needed to rest anyway, he told himself as he'd walked up to his room. Jim placed his palms on the desk and pushed himself up, limping slightly over to the door. It swished back, revealing Spock stood relatively straight. Jim was shocked to say the least.

 

“Good evening, Captain. May I come in?”

 

Jim gestured for him to enter and he did. Spock walked into Jim's quarters, doing terribly at disguising his pain.

 

“Are you sure you're fit enough to be out of sickbay?”

 

“I could ask you the same question, Captain.”

 

Jim nodded. The Vulcan had a point. He was still exhausted but he was desperate to get back to running the ship; to get back to some sort of normality and routine. Jim offered Spock a seat on the bed and Spock sat on the very edge. Jim sat down next to him.

 

“How you doin'?” Jim asked.

 

“Adequate,” he replied with a slight nod of his head, “my mental functioning is not at full efficiency yet but that is to be expected of what we have gone through.”

 

“Right, that reminds me, Spock. I need to ask you about what you did.”

 

“What I did, Captain?” Spock echoed, looking very confused.

 

“You know, to save me. How the hell did you manage to rescue me from my own freakin' mind whilst we were separated by, like, four concrete walls and _then_ some?”

 

Spock didn't reply straight away, like he was sure Jim already knew the answer. “Our minds are linked, Jim. There has been a connection ever since you melded with my counterpart on Delta Vega. Our growing relationship has meant that that bond has strengthened. I...was sure that you were aware of it.”

 

Jim blinked.

 

“Have you not felt something different within your own mind?”

 

“Yeah but....I just figured that was the drugs they were giving me.”

 

“And before that?”

 

“I don't know,” Jim slapped his hands down on his knees, feeling like he was getting nowhere. He swing his legs up and sat cross-legged on the bed, facing Spock. “Khan's blood, I suppose. Thats gotta have some weird side-effects, right?”

 

“Your logic is sound though I assure you now, the presence in your mind is the link with my own. I feel the same. It is the bond of t'hy'la.”

 

“That's what you said before you...you know.”

 

“It is a Vulcan term for that of a friend, brother or lover. The most sacred of partners.”

 

Jim wasn't quite sure what to say. “So you contacted me through our mental link? I don't-”

 

“You were essentially trapped inside your own mind, Jim, believing that you were no more than a cadet. I tried to reach you through our link and became part of your dream world. But I...my mental shields were being weakened by the native's telepathic interference, hence why I was not able to stay with you for a long period. I had to meditate between meetings with you so I could find the strength to communicate with you in your dreams. But once they discovered what I was doing, they launched an attack on my mind, preventing me from reaching you again. Then you came and found me.”

 

Jim stared at Spock as he absorbed all the information. Silence settled over them and Spock could tell that Jim was thinking of what to say. The Captain fidgeted a little, moving his legs to hang over the edge of the bed.

 

“Why did you tell me to jump?”

 

Spock broke eye contact and stared down at his hands in his lap. “Dying in a dream will cause you up, will it not?”

 

“Bit of a gamble, don't you think?”

 

The Vulcan looked up. “I prefer to think of it as an act of faith.”

 

Jim leant forward and caught Spock's lips in a kiss but by the feels of things, Spock was seconds away from making the same move himself. They separated and Jim felt the presence in his mind burn brighter.

 

“You need rest,” Spock said.

 

“So do you. Arguably more than I do.”

 

Spock didn't argue back and Jim felt slightly satisfied. He shifted back on the bed and Spock followed after Jim gestured him to, so they were both lying against the pillows at the head of the bed. Spock glanced down at Jim, noticing that his eyes were already drifting closed.

 

“I will be here when you wake, Jim.”

 

Jim smiled but soon fell asleep knowing that, with Spock next to him, his dreams would be safe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it ^^


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